SIV: Twelve

When I got home last night,  I decided to nap, as I was begging myself for rest. The plan was to wake two hours later. That plan however remained as is; a plan. I woke a good thirteen hours later, which consequently made me late for a nine o’clock start.

I had no choice but to show Lyle what I had done last Thursday and the little development that occurred yesterday. It was obviously not as much as I would have liked to show him. Alas, I thought it was enough to be able to start a good discussion regarding how I should move forward with the concepts that I had placed before him.

I hoped for input regarding possible mechanisms for one specific concept as I was struggling  to come up with ones that work, alongside other concepts. He thought that none was the ideal approach to my brief.

He shared what he had in mind. My approach had been modifying existing jacket patterns to fit pockets that cater for running necessities, that are accessible both when worn as a jacket or as a bag. Then figuring out how to turn the garments into a bag that would not disrupt  a runners mobility and performance. His suggestion- to come up with a form which houses pockets that cater for running must-takes first, then adding the jacket secondarily. The jacket does not have to be elaborate, he said. What popped into mind was a smaller version of a fanny pack, as he mentioned and demonstrated how he imagined the jacket to fold up into a tiny size, comparable to the size of the Samsung SIV. I did not like how this looked in my head, though decided to explore its potential.

I welcomed his input and advice but simultaneously questioned why my approach was regarded unideal. I think it is rather subjective. No approach is necessarily wrong. It is after all an approach.

Truthfully, it was quite discouraging. I feel like his impression of me keeps waning. He told me that my communication does not measure up whilst pointing at some of my scribbled drawings. Those drawings were ‘thinking’ drawings which for this exact reason would not appeal to anyone but me at the time I had drawn them.

I would not have shown him these drawings had I had the time or rather energy, to create some prototypes prior to this one-on-one discussion, but I was desperate for feedback before he left for the UK.

He also pointed out that the way I had finished my sewing was a bit rough. In my defense, it is rough because I had just wanted to see how my concept looked in a tangible form rather than in my head. I was testing out mechanisms and I wanted to get through them fast to maximise my limited time. To add to the equation, I am unfortunately only a beginner at sewing- to finish it nicely would take me time.

I value aesthetic and I would like to think that I am not ignorant to beautiful things.

I am also very conscious of what others think of me and therefore it bothers me that someone may have a bad impression of me.

I do not think I was stuck and unable to move forward, when he spoke to me. His impression was that I was- and asked whether it was the same for me in other projects. The answer is no. I have plenty of ideas and am excited for any and all briefs because I love the different challenges they each present. But in all cases, the fact stands that all my ideas are almost too complex and are very ambitious for the time constraint.

In most projects prior to this current one, I attempted big ideas regardless of the time-related drawbacks. I admit, it is this that pulls me back. But I am really sure that I would rather pursue what I want rather than settle for something that does not appeal to me due to the time constraint. The result has always been satisfaction and happiness regardless of the grades I got. I care about grades too, this point I had made posts ago- but if I had to compromise my concept for a better grade,  I think I would not be as happy with the result.

I hate how he caught me at a bad time- I was dealing with the post effects of an assignment deadline and this had prodded him to think badly of me.

I would love to prove him wrong though. I am capable. I have abilities. I would like to think I am even just that little bit competent.

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