Reflection (I hate mirrors)

A reflection upon the last brief is long overdue for I have left it with desperation for a much deserved break. With a few more days till the last six weeks or so of second year at hand I reckon a little self evaluation is fitting.

The last brief was a monster. Figuratively speaking, of course. As always, at the start I faced the brief with a fresh outlook with new found determination and renewed goals. The first two weeks were a piece of cake if you will. Then it started going downhill.

I am not sure what it was- all I know is that I spent a good amount of time deciding on which brief to do until it occurred to me that I was starting to run out of time.

Admittedly, the last half of the project was done in a semi-rush. I personally think, I was making good progress in terms of ideating, but constant negative feedback about the direction of which I am going kept holding me back with a large fat serving of discouragement on the side.

On another note, I breathe with a mixture of relief and slight contentment that my concept in physical form functions. It works. Though the type of fabric I used is still in question. The concept will undoubtedly work better had I used a fabric with greater elasticity. However I am not sure I can get any fabric that is both stretchy, breathable and waterproof.

In all honesty, I am dreading receiving the grade for this assignment. I do not reckon I have done myself justice having looked over my portfolio recently. I was able to include all of my work, but it lacks annotations to explain why I have done the work and I think that that is a crucial aspect in any portfolio.  It was my only chance too, to show Lyle that I have done a lot of work and that the final concept is (to a point) refined though there are still a few more issues I would have liked to explore (such as the materials used, and maybe I lacked a great deal of refinement with the pocket configuration of the belt).

In terms of achieving the goals that I had set for myself, I was doing well for the first few weeks of the project duration, until it got a little bit too much. A couple of things that I had picked up on were:

1. I do all my work on paper, handwritten- then I painstakingly transfer all of these onto the computer. I need to train myself to type everything onto the computer as I go, to save the copious amount of time that I must always loose otherwise.

2. I need to start regarding the gantt chart as the law I must abide to. I tend to make excuses and say that it is alright that I have not moved on as the previous part needs more attention and the information may very well affect the coming parts, hence I should better finish it to a high quality standard.

3. I should pay no mind to others. The way we should go about our portfolios is always a major discussion amongst our group and I shouldn’t let it affect me any longer. I always seem to put off starting the portfolio because of it.

4. In terms of actual design development, I find that I have trouble making decisions. I use matrices and I weigh up my options using pros and cons. It is not that I am not aware of what the right decision is, I just almost always have a disagreeing bias and I care too much for what others have to say. I guess for the most part, I should try to maybe care a little less, and pull my cocoon a little tighter around me so I am not tempted to seek people’s approval.

It is not bad to seek people’s approval at all, but different people have differing opinions, and I tend to want to please everyone. However it really should be enough that the constraints and specifications are met in the first place, regardless of the pool of opinions I tend to gather.

5. I felt like I was not given the best opportunity to actually speak for my concepts and myself. I felt like there was always a massive gap in my communication with Lyle. I would mean something totally different from his interpretation. It made me feel a little stupid. It made me question my ability to speak and understand English at all. I do not know exactly what I can do to improve, for I am sure I can speak and relay what is on my mind clearly enough to others.  But perhaps choosing not to prepare a visual presentation or slides for the mid presentation was where I fell. I clearly should have prepared a little better.

I guess I still have a second chance to prove his first impressions wrong. We have an opportunity to present our concepts to Lyle in the coming week and for the sake of my sanity I am preparing for it. I reckon I have disappointed myself enough, and I see this opportunity as a way to redeem myself.

As for the coming brief, I am honestly less excited for it. Sort of shaking in my boots really, for it is going to be another six weeks injected with stress and sleepless nights. However it is my goal to avoid both the former and the latter like it is some sort of plague.

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